Complicated

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know what to think of this.

A guy from the past who seemed to disappear all the time reappeared.

Out of nowhere.

It’s weird.

I messaged him earlier out of boredom.

I didn’t actually think he would come all the way to school just to pick me up and ‘chill’.

He asked me how I was doing.

We made small talk.

We talked about the past.

How he disappeared all the time.

He apologized.

He told me the reason why he picked me up.

He said he wanted to prove that he can make the effort.

He said that he could try harder this time since he now has the time and resources he needed.

But I don’t know what to make of that.

I know I don’t like him.

How do I tell him.

He tried to hold my hand.

I said no.

He tried to hug me.

I said no.

He tried to fucking kiss me.

Of course I fucking said no and turned him away.

This is getting complicated.

The reason I messaged him was because I knew he wouldn’t follow through and no one’s feelings would get hurt.

Now I’m feeling guilty for doing this to him.

 

I blogged earlier about how I was the type of person who doesn’t give in:

I’ve always been the one who stopped when things went too far.
Not kissing til a month or so….
Definitely no kinky stuff…

I’m like that to any other guy… As you can see.

Except for you.

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